Switching To Deliberate Living

Someone asked me recently why I have made this switch to deliberate living. He said it seemed like over-thinking and too much structure; why not just go with the flow?

Why Deliberate?

It’s been brought home to me that none of us live forever and we have limited time on this earth. I don’t want to look back at my life and realize I accomplished nothing because I frittered away my time on social media or pointless tasks or projects that were thrust upon me by others. This is my life, and I want to be able to live it according to how I feel is best.

Why Not Call It Intentional?

Another person asked me how deliberate living is different from intentional living. I think it depends on what you consider the word “intentional” to mean. Intent, to me, is just the mindset, but doesn’t necessarily bear out in the action. And the action is where everything happens. Deliberate, on the other hand, implies action on choices. So that is why I choose to call this deliberate living.

What Does Deliberate Get Me?

At this early stage of the life experiment, I can say that deliberate is making me aware of my choices. I understand better what I am doing, and also what I am choosing not to do.

I am more aware of what is going on in my life. I really consider projects and ROI before I accept them, where before my sole criteria was whether I had bandwidth to tackle it.

I am finding more time in my day because I am not dragged down by unimportant stuff. Don’t get me wrong: I don’t consider things like meal prep, laundry and cleaning to be unimportant, given what the consequences are. But I’m talking about things like catching up on social media, watching television and wasting my time finishing books that shouldn’t be finished.

How Has This Affected What I do From Day to Day?

I still do a lot of things on autopilot (read: routines) but these are considered, rather than just blind rote.

I think the largest change in my life is that I feel more in charge. I am choosing what to do, and what to do first. I limit what is on my list for any given day. If there isn’t enough space on my plan, it won’t be done. This also gives me more time to pursue recreation. This past weekend was the first time in forever that I could sit and watch football while crafting while not having any nagging guilt that I should be doing something else.

My Tools In The Fight Against Unthought Action

So now you’ve seen what being deliberate has gotten me. But how can you get there?

The way is by using tools that help you consider unthought action. Here is my list:

• Limited electronics. I use limits on my phone/tablet as well as my computer to keep me off time-wasting sites and apps.
• Limited task spaces. I learned this with my recent sojourn back into paper planners. My Panda Planner had five spots for priorities and eight spots for other tasks. Using this structure makes me really consider which tasks go first, what goes on the “if I get to it list” and what doesn’t make the cut at all.
• Limited schedule. I re-evaluated the commitments I had. With the help of my music director, I limited how much I would be performing. With the input of my Girl Scouts, we planned a limited schedule to obtain awards. With extensive reflection and some writing, I went through the rest of the activities on my calendar and chose which would stay and go. I did add things in – I started taking voice lessons and took over the music library at church.
• Limited goals. I used to try and do everything at once. Now I am limiting myself to two long-term goals every 12 weeks. This lifts the pressure off the rest of my activities and tasks.

Conclusion

Moving to a more deliberate life has been a rewarding one. I am more aware of my choices. It has allowed me to reconsider my goals, stop time-wasting activities, and put my time and energy toward things that really matter.

Action Item

I encourage you to look at what you have done so far today. How much was unconscious habit? Would you have chosen to do it if it weren’t habit? How about your other activities? Are they ones that you chose or have they been thrust upon you?

Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash