Picking Things To Stink At

Most of us are not experts at everything. (You might know someone who claims to be – and aren’t they annoying?) The real deal is that we all have to pick the things we’re going to work on being good at. As a consequence, we end up having things to stink at.

You Are Not Infinite

We are all limited. No matter who or what we are, we cannot be/do/have it all.

As the Genie in Aladdin says, “Phenomenal cosmic powers…itty bitty living space.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIt4u5VWKlo

You are not infinite. There are limits to what you can do.

And trying to be/do/have it all is going to lead to some major stinking at things.

So why not choose what you are going to stink at, rather than having it thrust upon you?

As William Shakespeare didn’t say (but I’m sure he meant to): “Some are born stinking at things, some achieve stinkiness, and some have stinking thrust upon them.”

Saying Yes Means Saying No

It’s all a matter of taking control. If we choose to stink at a task, we are opening our energy and time up to be used to not stink at something else.

By choosing to say yes, we automatically say no to other things.

Conversely, by saying no, we have room to say yes to other things.

I’m just saying, let’s make it a conscious and deliberate decision.

The Problem with Stinking at Things

This isn’t without consequences, though.

Most tasks, even those we stink at, can’t be abandoned.

Imagine you weren’t very good at paying bills. What would happen if you just stopped? Probably some pretty dire things.

So we have to find a way to stink at tasks, while minimizing the impact they have on us.

Ways To Say No

Stinking at something, or saying no to being good at a task, can take a few forms. Each of them will allow you to keep your chosen level of ineptitude, while minimizing the consequences.

Outsourcing To People

This is the most obvious one – play to strengths. Find someone who doesn’t stink at the task and pay them or barter with them to take over.

For instance, I am quite capable of handling finances, but I detest it. My husband is an accountant and wallows with glee in bill paying, budgeting, etc. On the other hand, he can spend a hour wiping down counters and still not get them clean, while they magically gleam when I go by. So he pays the bills, I clean the kitchen. (And I get a big kick out of telling people that I will hand paperwork and financial information over to my accountant.)

Spouses and children, especially teenagers, are good people to work this with. But you can hire housekeepers, lawn care, snow removal, shoppers, virtual assistants, landscapers, painters and all sorts of other people if you can’t barter.

Outsourcing To Machines

Many tasks can be handed over to machines. We don’t realize it, but the modern era of the automated house is less than a hundred years old. Computers have really only been present in houses in the last twenty five. All this modern technology can be harnessed to help us out.

I really suck at cooking during the week. After I come home from work, I don’t want to spend time in the kitchen. My slow cooker, Instant Pot and rice cooker do most of the work for me. I am also terrible at floor care. I’d rather give birth than vacuum, and no matter now many times I mop, I can always find one area that didn’t get clean. Floor care is given to two robots to do for me.

Learn to use those appliances you have around. If you really hate a particular task, see if there is a way to make a machine do it. Learn to use the automation on your computer and appliances. You’ll be surprised how much they can do.

Simplifying

Sometimes we stink at things because they are too complicated. When we decrease the complication, we decrease our stinkiness. In other words, when we simplify, we stink less at tasks.

I’ve noticed (especially in this age of social media) that so many things are taken way over the top. Birthday cakes now are done with fondant and royal icing flowers. It’s not enough to have an old chest in the house – you need to strip it and refinish it to match the room, ala Martha Stewart. A bullet journal now has to have hand-lettered headings, doodles, fancy graphics and more.

It’s OK to completely stink at the over the top things. But can you go for a measure of adequate? Instead of the fondant and overly-decorated birthday cake, how about a regular cake with some frosting and candles? How about just painting the old chest? How about a single color and no graphics for the bullet journal (which is what it started out as?)

Accept Sub-standard

Sometimes stinking at something just means accepting that it won’t be great. Not all things are equally important in our lives, after all.

I am a terrible gardener. My family says that if they had to depend on what I grow, we would starve. But the truth of the matter is that I am willing to stink at gardening. I put the plants in, but I’m not willing to spend my hours out there taking soil samples, remidiating the soil, weeding and all the other things that are required of a good gardener. Instead I use that time to write, craft and do other things that I work at getting better at.

Summary

By choosing things to stink at, we open up our time and energy to other tasks that we can excel at. You can remediate this to a certain extent by enlisting other people or machines, by simplifying the task, or even just accepting sub-standard.

Action Item

Take a look at everyting on your task list. What could you choose to stink at? Apply one of the four methods to it this week.

Image by jeffdjevdet. Licensed under Creative Commons. Text added.