Things I’m Not Doing Anymore
“Life is too short to fold socks.” There are so many wonderful things in life. And there are things that really don’t need to be done. Here is a list of things I’m not doing anymore.
Wear uncomfortable shoes. I saw what wearing fashionable shoes did to my aunts’ feet. Hammertoes and bunions are nasty looking. I will not wear shoes that pinch, hurt or give blisters.
Wear uncomfortable clothes. COVID taught me that some clothes are comfortable. Now that I am back in the office, I still go for comfort. I wear palazzo pants, soft tops and sweaters. No more binding clothes – and no more hose!
Buy dry clean-only clothes or special care clothes. The chemicals that dry cleaning uses are toxic. The clothes smell funky when I get them back. And thanks to my inability to pass a day without spilling something on myself, clothes have to be cleaned frequently. Washable clothes only for me. And that word: “I-R-O-N”? Not in my vocabulary.
Choke down veggies I can’t stand. My father, the son of a farmer and an avid gardener, grew weird vegetables in addition to the beans, cucumbers and tomatoes. Some of the veggies I learned to appreciate, like sugar snap peas and black radishes. Others I developed a hate for including asparagus and parsnips. I like and eat a wide variety of veggies, including odd ones like beets, turnips, rutabagas and such. So I refuse to eat the ones that disgust me.
Work through lunch out of laziness. Sometimes it is just too much effort to get away from my desk during lunch. This is especially bad when I am working from home and don’t have the peer pressure of my coworkers to eat lunch. I may tell myself I will just sit and read, but I always end up thinking of “just one more thing” and working through lunch. I don’t do that anymore. My phone alarm rings, reminding me to get away from my desk.
Work right up until bedtime. I have a habit of frantically doing things up until the minute I fall into bed. The old joke is the woman says she’s going to bed and cleans the kitchen, folds the laundry, packs lunches and gets to bed an hour later; the man says he’s going to bed and goes to bed. I get in cycles where I am doing things other than relaxing right up until I hit the sheets, and then I wonder why I can’t sleep. I will take at least a half hour to relax right before bed.
Read books that suck. I read. A lot. And most of what I read is pretty good. But there have been times when I have not liked a book, but finished reading it for one of three reasons: 1) it’s in a series I have read the rest of; 2) someone recommended it; 3) I can’t believe that something so bad could get published. If I don’t like the book by page 50, it’s time to move on. There are plenty of other books out there.
Take something just because it is free. This plays into the “I won’t read books that suck”. I love my Kindle, and I am a Kindle Unlimited member, which puts a lot of books at my fingertips – for essentially free. I will still download books that are recommended, and try to choke through them. Most did not make it past the first 50 pages. Now I read the description and if it really doesn’t grab me, I don’t download it.
Keep my mouth shut so I don’t rock the boat. As a woman in technology, I have experienced many instances of harassment over my career. I reported my first incident in 2022. I’ve also been giving my opinion when asked, rather than declining rather than expressing an opposing view. I also cut short rudeness, gaslighting, bulldozing and pushiness. This is something I wish I had had the courage for 20 years ago.
Fight my hair. I have naturally curly/wavy hair. And for many years I abused it trying to get it to be straight. During the pandemic, when haircuts were not a thing, I let my hair go curly to keep it out of my eyes. Now I keep it curly all the time.
Pursue meaningless certifications. I work in IT. There are a lot of certifications for IT people. But the certifications won’t get me any practical knowledge (because there is the Microsoft way of doing things, and then there is the way it is done in real life). It won’t get me raises, promotions, or job opportunities. I would rather spend my time learning more about things that will make my working life easier.
Pursue promotions. At this point in my career, many of my peers are managers. I don’t want to manage people. I would rather spend my day up to my elbows in a thorny problem. I have been encouraged many times to put myself up for managing roles. I decline.
Argue with people over their perceptions of me. I find it fascinating how people like to put other people in boxes. I’ve been told that this is a natural thing to do to make the world make sense. I have spent much of my life in the “wrong” boxes based on other people’s assumptions due to my gender, age, place of birth, career choice, education, spiritual beliefs and family configuration. People see what they want to see. I no longer try to correct it. I do what I have to do. Other people’s beliefs about me have no bearing on my life.
